CF has been touring more and more, but when he is home he reads up on gardening and dreams of renovating our vegetable garden to a system of raised beds…and maybe even a makeshift hoop-house in winter so we can grow some hardy greens year round!

As for me, I’ve been diligently figuring out more items we can make ourselves instead of buying at the store–which means I’ve also been working on some strict budgeting (for example: This week, the Girl Scout cookies I ordered at work came in AND I sent a package to my sweet nephew for his 6th birthday this Friday! I spent $10 to make sure it would get there on time. So, this week, I will not be eating dinner at CF’s steady Thursday gig…instead I’ll just enjoy a drink with my jazz music, thank you very much.)

We are also working on…ready?….wait for it…MOVING (*gasp*!!!).

I know. That’s a lot of info at once. So let’s take it one category at a time:

GARDENING

Last fall, we found stacks and stacks of used shipping pallets just waiting to be taken from the dumpster and turned into something super fabulous. We’ve stored them this winter and thought about what exactly we want to do with them. Though I don’t think we’ll use the pallet wood for building the walls of our new raised beds in the garden, I do think we will use some of them for vertical trellis/compartment gardening on the ends of some of the beds AND we will also be using some to create compost bins (I might be most excited about this use!).

We want to move to raised beds for a couple of reasons. Aesthetics is one, but we’re hoping that raised beds will also mean less weeding as we’ll be bringing in quality soil for inside the beds (soil that isn’t already ridden with weeds and weed roots) AND we will be putting down straw or mulch or something between the beds to avoid having to weed the ground there.

I also think that a raised bed will be a nice foundation for a small hoop house in the winter for those leafy greens.

DIY EVERYTHING (or maybe it just feels that way…)

If you’re a regular reader, you might know that I already make my own laundry detergent, shampoo and conditioner, counter top cleaning solution, and several food items that some prefer to buy pre-made (I’m thinking specifically of veggie burgers and even sushi).

Recently, I can also add to that list the following:

• peanut butter and other nut butters (I got a new food processor for Christmas from my family [everyone pitched in...it was my one big gift and I LOVE IT] and making peanut butter is the easiest and most rewarding thing ever. I will never buy peanut butter again because it tastes so so good homemade and it takes about 5 minutes.)

• bread and pizza dough (we don’t really eat much bread anymore–I find that bread and pasta doesn’t make me feel too great, but if I make it myself it doesn’t bother me as much–but when we do eat bread it’s because I made it. Either in the bread maker when I’m thinking ahead or this recipe when we need bread NOW.)

• taxes (even thought I wanted to cry and scream, I think I finally figured out how to do our taxes, which was a difficult task seeing that CF is self-employed

• sleep masks (CF likes to wear a sleep mask to cover his eyes while he sleeps to keep out the light–especially useful on those nights he has late gigs which causes him to sleep ’till late morning. Sleep masks are easy to make. They are more like wide headbands. Have an old tee shirt? I made the most recent sleep mask by snipping off the sleeve on an old tee shirt. Voila!)

• cooked beans (in the summer I will grow some beans, but in terms of this list, I mean avoiding purchasing canned beans. Dried beans are cheaper, and they taste so much better when you cook them yourself. Just like with my bread making, you can think ahead [soak them overnight] or not [quick soak to the rescue!])

• baby shower gifts (I have a lot of girlfriends having babies, and gift giving can get expensive. Instead, I learned how to make one cute item: baby bibs! Everyone gets baby bibs from me, but no one is complaining! )

Here are two of my more recent creations.

BUDGETING

It’s Year of the Snake, folks, and according to both CF’s and my Chinese horoscopes (Horse and Pig) and Zodiac horoscopes (both Libras), it is our year to get out of debt and start a solid financial future.

[We don't really take horoscopes that seriously, but last year (Year of the Dragon) both of ours said it was a good year to get married...and we did. We don't make our plans based on our horoscopes, but it is funny how the plans we'd already made were validated by our horoscopes this year and last. We had already decided this was the year to pay off debts when I read our Year of the Snake predictions.]

So, we are paying down debts, thinking hard about savings, getting serious about learning how to do our taxes right, and planning for the future. That means I have a plan for every dollar we spend for the first few months of the year until some big debts (like a credit card and two cars) are paid off. Then we might be able to relax a little….until….

MOVING

I know. Moving?!?!?! But what will become of our dear Lot 26? Let me tell ya: we don’t really know yet. There have been some changes here at the old trailer park–most annoyingly, a new property owner and management that seem to be bungling the job (i.e.-we didn’t know how to pay rent for THREE MONTHS). The new owners are also hell bent on “cleaning the place up,” which seems to mean cutting down trees and moving in some new fancier looking trailers…and possible jacking up the rental price in the near future.

We’ve been thinking more and more of leaving, which has pretty much stalled our renovations on the trailer. After all, our intent was never to move the trailer off the lot–just sell it when we were done living there.

We also have lofty dreams of building on to CF’s mom’s home (she has a lot of property). It’s where our garden is, and where CF’s studio is, so it just seems to make sense. But financially….we’re not ready to commit to a project of that size. (Year of the Snake, people! We were warned not to bite off more than we could chew!)

So we’ve got sort of an intermediate plan: instead of building onto the house, we are considering converting CF’s mom’s separate two car garage into a tiny home! It will involve some property/zoning issues…and some interesting plumbing issues…so we aren’t sure if we’re really going to do it. But we’re not taking it off the table just yet.

And even if we do move, we might not be leaving Lot 26 entirely behind. We’ll have to crunch some numbers and weigh some options, but there is a possibility that taking apart Lot 26, using parts of it to renovate the garage, and trashing the rest might be the best/cheapest way to go.

So, there you have it.  We’re keeping busy, trying our best to keep warm on these frigid Mid-western winter days, and looking forward.

(Oh, hello, by the way.  I know it’s been a while but here we are again.  Isn’t it nice?)

Here in the Midwest, the temps dropped to WAY below freezing last night, and we woke up to some very unresponsive pipes.  At least Mr. Furnace is still working just fine.

It’s strange because we’ve survived very cold temperatures here at Lot 26 before with no water issues, so I’m wondering if some heating mechanism below the trailer has stopped working…or has gotten knocked around one too many times by one of the twice weekly cat fights that occur below us.  That’s actually a real possibility–sometimes as I’m getting ready in the morning a fight will break out right below my feet and scare me half to death.

(If you’re wondering why cats hang out underneath the trailer, or why we let them:  it’s warm down there between the ground and the trailer, and we don’t “let them”–they are trailer park cats,  They do whatever they darn well please.)

(Also, I don’t think it’s just cats.  Our neighbor once told us that he saw a HUGE raccoon–he claimed it was the size of a dog–crawl out from underneath there once.  So I bet there is some inter-species fighting going on).

ANYWAY, what did we do?  Well, I’m sure we would have been more proactive about the issue if we hadn’t also woken up to a phone call from my brother needing a jump because his car battery died in the cold overnight.  Or if I hadn’t just washed my hair yesterday, and thus didn’t need to clean it before work.  Or if we hadn’t had a full Brita pitcher.  Or if it wasn’t a work day, and I didn’t have a reason to be on campus all day where there was running water.  Or if we didn’t live down the road from CF’s mom where he could spend the day and use the bathroom. Or if the pipes had actually burst (they didn’t).

SO, we’ve done…..nothing.  There isn’t much to do except check out the heating elements down there (perhaps CF’s job tomorrow?) and wait for the temps to rise (should be a bit warmer tomorrow).

In the meantime, I came home tonight needing to do things like wash the dishes that we should have taken the time to wash last night (ok, Universe, got the message!  Definitely go ahead and “do today” even if it seems like it can “wait till tomorrow”). Oh, and there is also that pesky dinner thing that most people like to eat at night.

So I headed out to the Dollar General to buy 6 gallons of water with change from our change jar (I mean, we are on a budget and we don’t usually buy drinking water when it flows easily from the tap). I placed one jug in the bathroom for hand washing and teeth brushing.  Emptied half of another into the electric tea kettle to boil it for washing dishes.  Poured the other half directly into the dish tub (to avoid burning my hands later when I added the boiling water). And then used some of another jug to start the sushi rice on the stove.

And while at first I was feeling very “Little House on the Prairie” boiling the water to clean up, after a bit it was pretty much business as usual.  I made 6 veggie sushi rolls and dirtied up some more dishes which I am now wondering if I should go ahead and wash with another jug of water, or if I should save the water for drinking.  Hmm…..decision decisions.

It’s amazing how quickly you can adapt to new circumstances if you are willing to face them calmly–not letting yourself get worked up, even though that might be your initial reaction. Yes, not having running water is pretty much a major pain, but it’s not unbearable.  I still managed to have a fairly normal evening–my belly is full and the kitchen is halfway clean.  Not too shabby.

This helps me feel better about our future plans to build or remodel on CF’s mom’s property (possibly more news in that area soon).  Knowing that we are already learning to deal with unpredictable annoyances makes me think we’ll be able to handle the inevitable unpredictability that seems to go hand in hand with renovations and remodels    (A lesson I guess it’s taken me a while to learn, as I’m remembering my irrational FURY at the slowness of our bathroom remodel a couple years ago…)

Anyway, here’s hoping we are up and running again soon.  And if not, here’s hoping we continue to face the annoyance with calm. G’night.

As much as I’ve been super busy with work and just plain old life, sometimes feeling overwhelmed isn’t just because there is so much to do.  At least for me.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed if I’m in an emotionally difficult place–I can’t concentrate on other things as well, so even the smallest task becomes overwhelming.  And lately, my emotions, as much as I tried to ignore them, have been keeping me distracted.

My dad, a truly wonderful person, passed away 5 years ago.  I struggle this time of year, noting the anniversary of his death and waiting for my birthday to pass (which comes about two weeks after) so I can just get back to “normal.”  The year he died, Dad was supposed to be away at a conference the weekend of my birthday, and he kept asking me if it was alright that he would be gone that day.  I told him it was no big deal.  But then, he  was really gone.  And he’s missed every birthday since.

But I digress.  There is a point to this somber revelry.

My parents on my mom’s 57th birthday.

I’ve been missing Dad lately, yes, but I’ve also just been missing the way things were.  Does it take 5 years to finally understand that things have changed forever?  That I can never go back to being the person I was when Dad was still here?  That my mother will never be the same either?  I think I was hoping that eventually we’d get back to those people–that happiness.  It doesn’t work that way though.

The people in that photo are gone.  That life is gone.  Dad is gone.  Still close to me–in my heart, in my mind–but gone.  My mother is a different woman without my dad.  She is still my loving, supportive mother, but she seems more fragile now.  Vulnerable.

Oh, there is so much that photo represents that I miss.  The messy dining room table.  The way an odd assortment of condiments  seemed to need to be on that table (honey, coffeemate, salt, pepper, sugar, butter, cinnamon, etc etc).  Dad’s post entree salad.  The traditional birthday cake and candles.  Dad’s comb-over (that I both hated and feared to see go…perhaps his hair worked like Samson’s.  If it was cut, perhaps he’d lose his strength: his brilliant mind). Dad’s sweater.  Oh that sweater.  I wear it around Lot 26 when I am feeling vulnerable.

I can hear Dad singing, in his operatic baritone, the “Happy Birthday” song, and breaking off at the end to sing a fantastic harmony that soared above the rest of us.  It’s hard to accept that I won’t be hearing that this Sunday as I eat my birthday cake.

Ack, more digressions.  I swear I was going somewhere with this.

I guess I’m just missing that life.  And feeling that absence has made living in the moment really difficult lately.  But I am trying to regain my foothold in the present and to feel less overwhelmed.

Last night, CF and I cleaned up after dinner, changed into pajamas, plopped ourselves down on the couch, and settled in for an old favorite movie and some homemade cupcakes.  For those couple of hours, I gratefully forgot all that had been weighing on me (work, grief) and just enjoyed my time with CF.  Laughing and indulging.  Soon, I got out a stack of our wedding photos and worked on placing them in a photo album (a project I’ve been putting  off to work on more “important” things).

It felt so good to be near someone I love.  To revel in a recent and happy past (our beautiful wedding).  To laugh together over a movie we’ve seen time and time again.  To eat together.  Just to be.

My birthday will come soon.  I want to fill my day with moments like that–present moments full of love and joy.  And cake.  Lots of cake.  And the beautiful ghost of my father’s sweet baritone voice.  Happy Birthday to Me.

Wanting to tick another item off the to-do list, I went to the veggie garden at my mother-in-law’s house.  CF was already there, working in his studio (which he built at his mother’s house years ago).  I was all worked up from running errands, but CF was relaxed and excited to introduce me to a new little friend: Skittles.

Well, he wasn’t named Skittles yet.  I came up with that one.  But I digress:

Skittles is a little orange feral cat that had taken up residence around the patio at my mother-in-law’s house.  He’s adorable, and looks a lot like the cat we had when I was a little girl–only our dear O.J. (Orange Juice) had green eyes, and Skittles’ are a honey-colored brown.  Anyway, CF has been courting this little cat for a while now.  I dubbed him Skittles because he is 1) Skittish, and 2) Little.   Though he’s feral, he needed a name because my mother-in-law is nothing if not a serious animal lover.  I’m guessing Skittles will be a house-cat by the end of the month.

Watching Skittles nervously play with CF’s fingers through the potted plants on the patio made me stop and breath and s l o w    d o w n.  Suddenly the to-do list didn’t seem so urgent.  I watched Skittles’ playful paws a while longer before gathering a basket and some scissors to head out to the garden.  When I turned to head to the garden, I saw something else that made me pause.  Deer.

Not one deer, but three.  Two adult does and one adolescent (not a spotted fawn anymore, but noticeably smaller than the does).  They were crossing the lawn a good 50 feet away from me, but one had stopped and was looking right at me.  Trying to decide if I was a threat.  Eventually, I guess she decided I was because she ran off; the other two soon followed.

Why is it that a brief moment with nature makes the busy-ness of our daily lives seem so insignificant?  Sure, I went back to my to-do list, gathered food and flowers from the garden, made dinner, cleaned up, and went to bed exhausted.  But that quiet moment sharing a stare with that doe stayed with me the rest of the evening.  Everything felt less urgent.  I was reminded of peace and of my desire to be present.  To live in the moment.

Now, when I go to my mother-in-law’s and see Skittles nestled up on a dining room chair, I remember Sunday afternoon–the little orange paws nervous and playful, the deer stock-still waiting to bolt, and my empty basket held loose in my hands.

The basket will always get filled.  The to-do list will eventually get done.  But what’s the point if we don’t stop, breath, quiet ourselves and our busy minds, and remember that every moment is a gift?

1) A small cup cools the tea faster to a drinkable temperature.

2) I can imagine that I am a dainty person while I drink from my dainty cup.

3) Pouring several mini cups of tea has the double benefit of slowing down my drinking AND making it seem like I get to drink a lot of tea!

4) I can pretend I am a giant and these human cups are too small for me.

5) If I’m feeling rebellious, I can drink the tea like shots.  (This is for if I have a bad day at work….it’s amazing what the action of doing shots does for you, even if the drink inside the cup is not at all alcoholic).

This is not why I originally started this blog post, however.  Though, I dare say, the topic I mean to explore is related to the above tea-drinking method:  it is strange, but beneficial!

So about a week and a half ago, CF was doing some work on our back door.  (He installed it a while back, but we’ve been having some torrential rains, and it became obvious something didn’t get sealed right.)   Part of the work he was doing involved using an electric saw. Somewhere in the process, the power of the saw blew a fuse or a circuit or something.  Actually, it couldn’t have been that it blew a fuse because that would have been a simple fix.  Instead, suddenly, the overhead lights in our bedroom, the bathroom, and the guest bedroom were dead, as well as most of the outlets in those rooms.  No outlets would work in either bedroom, but one outlet by the sink in the bathroom was still functioning.

So–what we discovered is that the wiring around here is really f-ed up.  So much so that CF couldn’t quite understand what had happened (and he used to do lots of electrical work with his step-dad back in the day).  CF had a theory on what had happened (don’t ask me to repeat it…it had lots of lingo I’m unfamiliar with in it), but didn’t know how to go about fixing the issue.

So where did that leave us? With Christmas lights strung up around the mirror in the bathroom plugged into the one working outlet–and with a long extension cord running from that same outlet to our wifi router.  At night, we’d switch the cord to head to the bedroom and keep a fan running.

Sounds like a pain in the butt, right?  Well, at first it sort of was.  But then something beautiful happened.  I began to notice that those Christmas lights in the bathroom were  a lot less harsh than the overhead light.  They gave just enough light to use the toilet and then get ready for bed (brush teeth, take out contacts, etc), but they allowed the bathroom to stay nice and dark…like the night time should be.  In the morning, the bathroom window let in plenty of light for showers.

And then there’s the bedroom:  I began to look forward to lighting two candles every night to find my way into the bedroom.  Then I’d place one candle on each nightstand.  I loved the ritual of it.  The simple glow of the flame, and the way candlelight doesn’t take away the fact that it’s night time—it almost intensifies it.  I loved watching the shadows on the walls just before I blew out the candle…that brief smell of smoke wafting by as I laid down my head to go to sleep.

And yes, I even liked the idea of unplugging the internet for the night so that we could use the fan in the bedroom.  We really should be unplugging all the internet/computer/tv junk at night to save on energy.  But the literal “unplugging” also helped me feel ready for bed, for sleep, for dreams.

Yesterday, CF’s biodad (also an electrician) came over to take a look at the situation.  He seems to think that the permanent fix will involve rewiring several rooms/outlets, but he found a way to rig up a temporary fix that has restored power in all the rooms (which involves an extension cord draped over a doorway).   After biodad left, I admitted to CF that I was going to miss those nights of candles and darkness.  The smooth transition from waking to sleep.

Thought it’s nice to know we don’t have to choose between a fan and the internet on nights when we don’t go to bed at the same time, I’m not sure our getting back the lights is a good thing.  So, last night, I shut them all off again, and walked to the bedroom with two lit candles in my hand.  I think I slept better for it.  And I hope I will continue to.

Yes, CF got hitched at the end of May (5/26/12), in a simple little ceremony (which took all of 16 minutes!) in his mother’s back yard.  Simple simple simple.  But “simple” doesn’t always mean “easy”–and I have to say that while the way we planned our wedding was always in the interest of reducing stress, I found myself quite stressed out putting all that “simplicity” together.

Let’s take a step back:  yes, we had a simple ceremony in CF’s mother’s backyard with many friends and family looking on.  What I didn’t mention is that most of those friends and some of that family had NO IDEA that they were attending a wedding until dessert was announced.  See, CF and I threw ourselves, what we like to call, a “reverse surprise party.”  The reverse part being that all the guests were the ones being surprised (not just a single guest of honor), and the surprise being that we were getting married.   We invited our friends and family to a potluck garden party and told them we’d provide some drinks, the dessert, and the entertainment.  Sometime between potluck lunch and dessert ( a homemade wedding cake), we announced that we were in fact the entertainment—I got on the mic (we did have a stage area for musical entertainment later in the evening), and told everyone to head over to the garden in about 15 minutes to watch us get married.  The faces of our guests were priceless.

Actually, if I’m going to write about it, I might as well say exactly how it went down.  I got on the mic and said, “Since you’ve all been staring at a TBA sign on the dessert table, I thought I’d go ahead and announce what we’ll be having.  For dessert today, we’re having cupcakes!” pause “Oh, and wedding cake!” (a collective gasp shoots through the crowd) “But, before we can serve a wedding cake, I suppose there has to be a wedding.  So if you’ll all head over to the garden in about 15 minutes….”

At that point, I started calling out names of some of my closest girlfriends to come and give me a hand making last minute bouquets and boutonnieres from wildflowers in the yard–and I assigned some of them excerpts to read during the ceremony.

Crazy right?  Crazy simple right?  Yes, but not easy.  Planning a surprise wedding takes a lot of freaking work!  And deciding who to let in on the secret is a lot of stress (we did end up telling our immediate families…moms were thrilled of course…and my uncle who performed the ceremony).   And then keeping it a secret for FIVE LONG MONTHS while you plan the whole thing and make it happen pretty much all by yourself…even more stress.  Especially when you’re finishing out the semester, grading, grading, grading, getting wheeled off to the emergency room with a gallstone attack (more on that in a future post), and just generally getting on with your usually busy life.

Don’t get me wrong:  I freaking loved our wedding.  It was us through and through.  And it was FUN.  The whole day was a total blast (well, once I’d finally made the announcements and could stop stressing!)  It was beautiful and perfect and everything this bride could have wanted.  But it was also another reminder that “simple” does not always mean “easy” or even “convenient”.    In order to understand all the ways I went about simplifying, I think I’ll break down the planning/creating into categories.  (And for those of you not at all interested in wedding details, I suggest scrolling through to see some pictures and skipping the text, ’cause it’s about to get real here).

Deciding to Get Hitched by Surprise

We’ve had a lot of questions from people wondering how we even decided to get married in this manner.  Really it’s simple (ha!..simple!!!).  CF and I have been to many many weddings over the past few years, and I’ve been in several of them as a bridesmaid or some other official role.  We enjoyed ourselves and had a great time–but we also observed and learned.  Weddings with big budgets and lots of people involved are exhausting.  And stressful.  We also noticed how many questions the bride and groom were asked leading up to big day…well, let’s be real here…it’s really only the bride who gets bombarded with questions about every single detail.   We wanted to avoid the stress.  We wanted to avoid the deluge of questions and people “all up in our business.”  We also didn’t want people to feel obligated to spend lots of money on gifts or just to travel to our event.  But we wanted to have fun.  Lots of fun.  And we didn’t want to spend too much money ourselves.  The “Reverse Surprise Wedding” was our way of accomplishing those things.

Planning the Ceremony Itself

We wanted the actual ceremony to be short and sweet.  In our minds, the ceremony was important, but we wanted it to fit in with the flow of the party and of the day.  We wanted people to be partying and enjoying themselves, stop to watch us get married, then go right back to having a good time.  So, after we asked my uncle (who is a pastor) if he would both do us the honor of marrying us AND of keeping the purpose behind our party a secret, we sat down with him to discuss our short ceremony.

Being a teacher, I came prepared:  I pretty much wrote out a script (with places for my uncle to add/improvise) and added appendixes with the short excerpts I had chosen for friends to read during the ceremony (a poem by Billy Collins, an excpert from bell hooks’ All About Love, and two [non-misogynist] Bible verses).   CF and I re-wrote the traditional vows (“in sickness and health, for richer for poorer”…etc), and also decided that we would improvise a few words before the vows to talk a bit about what we love most about each other.   Embedded in our vows was the theme of our wedding, which was on a banner above us and engraved inside our rings: laugh. love. grow.    My uncle also did a beautiful job weaving those three words throughout the ceremony–into both his opening introduction and his prayer at the end.

The ceremony start to finish lasted 16 minutes.  We stood in front of the vegetable garden that we started together and continue to work in together year after year.  It was a great symbol of our teamwork and the hope of growth together.  It was perfect.  Just perfect.

Our Ring Fiasco

Part of “simplifying” for me implies that I support small business while also wanting to get a good deal.  For our rings, that led me to Etsy.  I found some great jewelry makers who make beautiful non-traditional rings (perfect for this non-traditional wedding!).  We asked for ring-sizers to be mailed to us so that we could get the perfect fit—since, due to the kind of materials they’d be working with (stainless steel), the rings could not be re-sized.

Unfortunately, even after all that, we got the rings and they were not what we had anticipated.  First, they were very thick (not width-wise, but thick as in how much material stood off your finger).  Second, CF’s was WAY too big.  Ugh!  We could have sent them back and gotten new rings made for half price, but since we didn’t like the thickness or the look of them, that seemed like a bad idea.

I wasn’t too upset about the loss of money because I do believe in supporting small business.  But at this point, the wedding was a month away and we had no rings.   So we ditched our “non-traditional” ring idea and went to a local jeweler so we could talk to real people face-to-face and try on rings before ordering.  For the record, we went to a small family business (woo!  still supporting small business!), but we did pay a lot more for our rings because we went with traditional (white) gold this time.

Honestly, it was well worth the extra money.  They are beautiful rings that fit great.  The engraving was free.  And they got them to us in PLENTY of time.  (Actually, we were told that even if we needed rings the next day they could have done it!  Wow!)  The guy we worked with was super nice and talked candidly about pricing, materials, etc.  He never tried to push a more expensive/fancier option on us.  It was great.  We are extremely pleased with our simple, plain matching wedding bands.  In fact, we’re going back to that jeweler to have an “engagement” ring (it will actually be an anniversary ring for me) custom made  using CF’s mom’s diamond that she wants me to have.

Attire: His and Hers

CF wore his usual black Dickies and black PF Flyers with a nice pale yellow dress shirt from the 70s that was his Uncle’s (who passed away several years ago).  It was a nice tribute because his Uncle’s family lives far enough away that they weren’t able to come to our ceremony.  CF wearing that shirt made it feel like they were with us.

I spot cleaned that shirt the morning of the wedding.  I remember thinking “If this isn’t a wifely duty, I don’t know what is.”

As CF was getting ready that morning he said, “I am so glad I get to wear my own clothes.” Meaning, he was grateful I hadn’t made him rent a tux   Love that man.

As for me, well, I started putting my outfit together 2 years ago.  I found this gorgeous dress at Goodwill for $5:

The flowers on the skirt are mirrored on the back

When I bought it, I thought to myself that it might make a nice simple wedding dress.  So I put it in the closet and never wore it.  CF even pulled it out once saying, “You never wear this one.  Why?”  I told him “I’m SAVING it.” with a pointed look.

One and a half years later I found myself putting together the rest of the outfit.  I found great earrings at the same Goodwill.  I made myself a necklace to match, after a couple of trips to the craft store for supplies.  I asked one girlfriend if I could borrow an anklet to wear for my “something borrowed” (she was one of the few in on the surprise from the beginning), and I asked another girlfriend to crochet me a lovely red shawl (she had NO IDEA why ).   All that was left was the shoes!   One of the most important parts.

I found the most amazing shoes at a little store in San Fran while visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew over my Spring Break.  It was also the week I told them that CF  and I were getting married.  How fitting that I find the last piece of my outfit there!   I knew I wanted flats (for comfort) but I wanted them to look fancy too.  I think I found the perfect pair (and I still wear them often!):

(yes, I took this picture on top of the washing machine…)

For my hair, I wore it down and pinned back, but I put my hair in rag curlers and sprayed  it down with my diy natural hair spray (flat beer and water 1:1) the night before.  So I had nice curls throughout the day

Flowers and Decorations

I made all my own decorations.  Ok, that’s sort of a lie.  My mom helped me gather and cut some of the fabric.  But, I did all the sewing.  All the creating.  All the crafting.  All the cursing.  All the re-dos until I had it right.  And I loved how it came out!

The “Just Hitched”  sign at the top of this post I made to take pictures with–see, CF’s mom used to have horses and there is still a hitching post on her property.  One day, after a hard day’s work on the yard prepping for the party, I said to CF, “Hey, we should take pictures there after the wedding!”  And then CF suggested that we have a sign that said “Just Hitched.”  So I made it

I also made a banner that said “laugh. love. grow.” to hang above our heads at the garden and a tassel garland as well.  The banner I want to put up in our future child(ren)’s room….the tassel garland is in our bedroom above the window.

I also made hundreds of little flags for bunting that we used to decorate the garden fences, the grape-vine fence, and pool deck.  The material I used was a mix of fabric from thrift stores, and fabric with sentimental value.  Some pieces were from altered clothing that CF’s mom gave me.  Some were the scraps leftover from when my grandmother made my mother’s wedding dress and her sisters’ bridesmaid dresses.  Some were scraps from bath robes and dresses my mother had made me.   I love all those little touches.  I meticulously took down and folded all the bunting for safe-keeping after the party.  I want to use it to decorate our home for special occasions and holidays.

I feel I should add that my decoration inspiration came from here and here.

As for flowers?  We didn’t buy any.  There were lots and lots on CF’s mom’s property!  Some from our garden (the sage plant bloomed into beautiful purple flowers just in time for the wedding), some from CF’s mom’s wildflower patch.  We put some in vases and I had my girlfriends make bouquets and boutonnieres out of others (they tied my bouquet with a blue ribbon for my “something blue”!).

I also made a little “guest book.”  My plan was to purchase one at a thrift store and simply recover it with material I picked out…but I couldn’t find a book that would really work for that.  So I studied the design of the ones I almost bought, and then made my own at home with some cardboard, fancy cardstock paper, and a spiral notebook wire cut from an old notebook. I covered it with a fun print and ribbons.

Food and Cake (and Cupcakes!)

To help with costs (and to help keep the fact that we were getting married a surprise) we had a potluck!  It worked out great!  CF and I decided that we would contribute by having some Mediterranean food (pita bread, falafel, hummus, tabbouleh) catered from our favorite place, getting a keg of beer (Spaten!), buying jugs of iced tea and some bottles of bubbly (for toasts) both alcoholic and non-alcoholic, AND of course providing the dessert!

I made our wedding cake.  It was tiered and vegan and DELICIOUS.  White cake with fugdy layers in between.  For our cake topper, I had my nephew and his second-cousins pick some sage leaves from the garden and stick them in the top.  Simple, beautiful, and natural.

I also made a couple dozen cupcakes, since the cake was small and would not feed everyone we invited to the party (over 100 people!).  My mother and sis-in-law also made about 100 cupcakes (not vegan), and my friend from work supplied a dozen gluten free cupcakes.  By the end of the night, only about 30 cupcakes and NONE of the wedding cake survived!

Paper or Ceramic?

We decided that we wanted our wedding to be as green as possible, so that meant we didn’t want to use paper plates.  Luckily, a friend from work was kind enough to bring about 100 plates with her and cutlery!  And I supplied our plates as well.  I put little pieces of tape with our initials on the bottom of the plates to help keep track of everything.  Then, at the party, we placed laundry baskets lined with garbage bags under the food table that were labeled so party-goers could tell where their dirty plates could go.  This was my friend’s idea.  She said she didn’t mind taking home all those dirty plates to wash them!  So so kind!

Ball Jars for Everyone

Along with no paper plates, I wanted to avoid plastic cups.  I decide we’d use Ball Jars for drinks at the party.  The bonus was that guests could also take the jar home (possibly filled with some water or tea to go, or some leftover goodies!) as a party favor.  Win!

My sister-in-law and my mother helped me wash and dry all 120 jars I purchased.  I found the best price at the local Farm n Fleet.  Only about $8.50 for a 12 pack!

Family Friendly Touches

Finally, we wanted our party to be family friendly.  We encouraged our friends with kids to bring them along!  (Which worked out really well–I had about 7 little “flower girls” all throwing flowers on the lawn in front of the garden for me!).  So, to keep little ones entertained, we had a pinata (filled with organic/earth-friendly candy and some toys and temporary tattoos!).  We also had a water balloon toss for little kids and big kids alike!  Everyone, including my brothers and my college professors, had fun with that one

That’s my brother in the foreground about to catch the ballon tossed by my other brother.

My college roommate’s mother told me that I was ruining those little kids for future weddings.  She said now when they go to weddings they are going to be upset when they discover most don’t have pinatas or water balloon tosses!  Ha!

So, that in a nutshell (and a REALLY LONG POST…sorry!) was our “simple” wedding.  It was a blast.  And it didn’t cost us all that much.  The biggest expenses were our rings and the tents and porta-potties we rented.  Everything else seemed to take care of itself.  And all our guests kept saying they had such a great time.  Part of me thinks I should throw more potluck parties in the future!

Just married. And thrilled.

If you’ve made it through to the end of this post, you are a real trooper!  I promise the next posts won’t be quite so long and detailed.  But I will try to keep explaining and reflecting on this new focus on simple living here at our dear Lot 26.

Until next time, may you all be well.

An odd way to start a post after such a long absence, no?  So much has changed, and I’ve decided instead of trying to cover it all at once, I’ll let it come to you slowly, in bits and pieces—but I will dive right in with where I’m at today.  And today, I’m here on the couch, a candle burning on the table (a wedding gift from our friends in New Orleans…yes, I said wedding).  Today I’m fresh from making my first raw cheesecake, and weary from a long day of errands.  So today, you get a reflective and tired me.

Again, there is so much to say, to write.  And I will write it. But first, I feel a shift coming. I started this blog as a way to come to grips with my new living situation–a way to write my way to feeling “ok” with living in a trailer park.  It was an exercise in helping myself transition.  But I’ve made that transition.  This September marks 2 years here at Lot 26 (Happy Trailer Parkaverisary to us!), and after 2 years, we comfortably call this place our home.

Instead, we’re on to new transitions.  New adventures and new obstacles.  New philosophies and mantras.  And I’d like to let this blog reflect that.

I started this blog with the intent to grow.  And I have.  I am.  So it’s time the blog grew with me.

Let’s let it.

I’ll let you in on all the new happenings soon. Until then, know that CF and I are happy.  Know that on the other side of struggle and growth is peace.  And know that the sound of rain on the roof can make your home the best home it can be.

Also, it’s the end of the semester.  Today was the last day of classes (Woo!), and I only have to survive finals week and then I’m home free (“School’s out for summer!”).

Well, anyway, until things calm down and I’m able to write about the big exciting stuff that is happening, I thought I’d give one more update about my hair care routine for anyone who wanted to know if I am still sticking to baking soda to do my ‘do.

The answer is “I do.” But there’s more to it than that.  After a few months of seemingly lifeless locks (I think I’m the only one who really noticed), I decided to make a bit of a change to my no ‘poo recipe: I introduced distilled water.

Now many of you might be thinking, “duh,” but I honestly never thought about how the minerals in the tap water might weigh down my hair.  At least, I didn’t think about it until I went to visit my brother and his family in San Francisco in March, where they (must) have a water softener…because my hair was AWESOME there.  I still washed it with baking soda and conditioned with ACV, but the difference in how my hair felt was night and day.

When I got home, I began scheming for how to achieve the same thing here.  After a little more research on no ‘poo, I decided on the following recipe and routine:

1) For the “shampoo” I put 2 Tbsp. baking soda and 5 drops of tea tree oil into an empty 16 oz bottle (I re-used a Dr. Bronner’s bottle).  Then I fill the bottle the rest of the way with distilled water.

2) For conditioner: 2 Tbsp of ACV put into another 16 oz bottle; again, fill the rest of the way with distilled water.

3) In the shower, I wet my hair (and I’ve got LONG hair, so yes, it works on long hair), shake lots of the “shampoo” onto my scalp (scalp only…not on the ends of my hair), and rub it in.  I work it into my scalp for about 30 seconds, then rinse it out with warm water.   Then for the conditioner, I usually unscrew the lid and pour it through the ends of my hair.  I rinse almost immediately with cooler water.

I do not smell like a dinner salad after .  If my hair smells like anything, it’s the hint of tea tree oil in the ‘poo.  And this really works to clean my hair and keep dandruff under control.  This July, I will have been cleaning my hair this way for a full year.  I think it’s safe to say, I’m a convert.

At this point, I bet you’re probably thinking I must be pretty vain (at least about my hair), or you’re at least asking why I am STILL writing about this.  And maybe the answer is that I am actually vain–or maybe I just think about it a lot because shampoo was really the last commercial beauty product I was buying, and the one I spent the most money on. And though I’ve probably beaten the proverbial dead horse on this whole hair topic, I do have one more tip to add to hair care ideas: DIY hairspray.

I have long straight hair.  Straight straight. Whenever I’ve been in someone’s wedding, or whenever I went to prom in high school, it would always take two hair dressers armed with cans of hairspray to get my straight straight hair to curl at all.  But hairspray is gross.  And I wanted to experiment with other ways to get my hair to curl in case I ever have reason to get all gussied up again in the future (hmm…is that a hint at the BIG stuff we’re cooking up around here?  Only time will tell…)

So, being the teacher-type, I did some research.  I learned that a mixture of 1:1 water and flat beer can make a great hairspray!  So I tried it.  I sprayed it onto my hair one night and rolled my hair up into sections with rags.  After I slept in my rag “curlers” all night, I woke up to curly hair that actually stayed curly through a whole day at work!  Now, the curls did fall a bit, but for someone who needed two cans of hairspray in the past, this was  pretty darned good.  AND, I’ve just read that adding some shea butter to the mix can help as well…so I’ll be trying that in the future!

Ok, that’s enough about hair…at least, that’s enough about my hair for one night…or maybe even for one blog!   I hope to write again soon, but I won’t make any promises. Remember, the posts may be infrequent, but it’s only because exciting life/stuff is getting in the way, and there’s no better reason than that.

Until next time, may all your diy beauty product adventures be productive, and may all your homes be happy!

I thought it would be easiest to break this down, change by change, item by item–well, and I like showing off our cool “new” stuff

Napkins

Napkins?  Why the heck am I so excited about napkins, you ask?  Why, because I made them!  Remember how I said I’ve been enjoying the simplicity of watching the needle of the sewing machine go up and down?  Well, that needle has helped me make a lot of useful stuff.

A bowlful of homemade napkins! Aren't they purty?

The great thing about these cloth napkins is that I haven’t bought paper towels in months.  We were already using cloth towels for cleaning the counters and such, but we still used those pesky (and wasteful!) paper towels for napkins.  No more!  We save money, and we keep unnecessary waste out of the garbage can.

So while I was learning how to use the machine (I found it best to practice with small things like these napkins, as a warm up), I decided to tackle a larger job…

Curtains

Yes, I made curtains!  I wrote over a year ago that curtains would make a big difference in winterizing our trailer–but I never got around to either making or buying them…until this winter!  My mom helped me pick out material that would be durable AND aesthetically pleasing, and we came up with these:

I love that flower design.

The curtain is a thin wool material (I found it in the “clothing” fabric part of the store), but I also lined this with a thick almost canvas/denim material.  So, they do keep out the cold.  I haven’t done any actual calculations in terms of money savings, and it has been a pretty mild winter, BUT I can say that last winter CF and I spent most of our at-home time in the guest room because it was the warmest room in the house.  Now, with the temp set at 66 degrees just like last winter, I am able to spend more time in the open areas (kitchen and living room) without freezing.  A major improvement if I do say so myself.  Also, now we have a bit more privacy (as those windows had no curtains or even blinds on them!).

I hope we’re saving money on heating because, honestly, these curtains were NOT cheap to make.  The material was pretty pricey, but I wanted something I would like to look at, so I think it’s worth it.  Also, I just really like knowing that I MADE THEM.  :)

Moveable Counter Space

So, as much as I love our little home, the lack of counter space in the kitchen was really getting on my nerves.  I love to cook, but there were appliances everywhere all the time, and no place for dirty dishes to hang out until I had the time/energy to get to them–so clearing space to chop vegetables seemed a chore.  And then we kept receiving more appliances and gadgets (see below), and then I started looking for help.  We decided on this beautiful thing:

Say hello to our chrome cart!

Nice right?  I’m still in the process of reorganizing the chrome utility shelf so that we’re maximizing our use of space, but I’m loving having a “coffee station” that also houses baking sheets and more.  This gave us a little extra counterspace, and I’m digging it.

“New” Gadgets

So, what gadgets have acquired?  First, for Christmas we received a new espresso machine.

It's a really nice gift!

Now, we already had one, and I immediately started scheming for how to convince CF to get rid of the old one.  He kept saying, “But it still works!” to which I would say, “and that’s why it’s a great item to give to Goodwill!”  In the end, we compromised.  It’s out of our kitchen; it found a new home down the street at CF’s mom’s house….were CF’s studio is conveniently located. So CF gets to make espresso here with me or there with his mom. It’s a win-win(-win?).

Then, more recently, we were gifted a bread machine.  CF was really excited about the bread machine.  I, at first, was not.  See, I’ve been trying to eat less bread and other foods made with refined flours.  I’ve been trying to eat more whole grains in their whole forms (rice, quinoa, millet, steel cut oats, etc).  But when CF called and said “Guess what?  We got a bread machine!”  he sounded so excited, I just went with it.

I usually just put it on the floor next to the cart when I use it.

And admittedly, homemade bread is pretty freaking awesome.  I like the fact that this gadget might save us some money too–making our own bread is probably cheaper (and healthier) than buying from the store.

We’ve also been using a juicer this winter.  CF found his old juicer in his mom’s garage, cleaned it up and showed me how it worked.  We’ve been drinking homemade juice 3 or more times a week ever since.

Isn't she a beaut'?

Even though it takes up space (my precious counterspace!) and can be a pain to clean, I love this gadget too.  How could I not?  She’s called the Juice Lady, and when she’s done making you juice and it’s time to clean her, she opens her arms high above her head and says “Yay!  I made you juice!”  (At least, that’s what I imagine she’s saying.)

"Yay! I made you juice!"

Hooks

Ok, this last change is the most recent and the one that is not exactly part of the kitchen.  But stay with me

Last night, CF installed these:

Now our coats can live next to the door instead of on the back of the couch.

We’d debated for a while about whether or not to buy a coat stand/rack, where we’d put it, etc.  But in the end, we decided we could save money AND space if we just installed a series of hooks.  Right now, they’re holding our winter coats and accessories that we used to fling over the backs and arms of our couches.  Now, our living room looks neater!

But, what’s the point of all this?  Why show you pictures of such minor and seemingly insignificant changes?  Because when you add up the small things, it equals something great.  After working to make this space more and more ours, our home, and after spending more and more time together making these changes, we have a real stake in this place.  A real sense of ownership, belonging, fondness…even pride.  The small things we do to make this space better also accomplishes the task of making it ours.

So…we’re happy!  We’re happy here in the trailer park, and every change we make in this space is a change towards our ultimate sense of home.  May you all be able to find that feeling too!

p.s.  In case you’re wondering how Valentine’s Day went here at Lot 26:

Our heart-shaped sushi dinner

Chocolate molten lava cake with a heart-shaped coconut ice-cream.

Today, I just wanted to offer a bit of an explanation for my absence.  As you might have guessed from the title of this post, I’ve been working on living simply.  Though living simply has pretty much been an obvious goal of mine since day one of moving in to Lot 26, it’s not something that you can just declare and then not think about it.  Like most things worthwhile in life, living simply is a conscious everyday effort.  And it continues to be one for me.

So, why was it that I was able to blog AND “live simply” up until last November, but then suddenly I disappeared?  Well, because life got craaaazy.   Beautiful, wonderful things were and are happening in my life and in the lives of our friends and loved ones, and I decided to dive into those and let go of other things–like this blog–for a while.

What was I diving into?  Spending time with some of my dearest friends and their brand new baby.  Finding joy in the simple act of watching the needle on the sewing machine go up and down, up and down.  Making small, but still significant, changes to Lot 26.  Going to yoga with CF every Sunday afternoon for relaxation and restoration.  Keeping up with the work load of a brand new semester.  Making and giving gifts.  Writing and submitting work.  Making exciting plans for our future.  Creating.

(In fact, my own personal mantra/affirmation for the past few weeks during yoga classes has been “Create”.)

So, yeah, I’ve been busy.  Good busy.  But now that I am slowly getting a handle on all this newness, I think it’s time to come back to a place of reflection and sharing.   I hope to slowly come back more often to this space and to share all the wonderful challenges and joys of our continued life here at Lot 26.  And I hope you’ll keep reading.

For now, I need to settle in at the table and take care of some of that new semester workload–grading grading prepping prepping.   But today, at least, the table looks serene and inviting:

So many little things in this room are new. Must tell you all about it next time...

I hope to write again soon.  Until next time, may all you all find joy in simplicity, creativity in your busy-ness, and warmth as you come to the table.